Matt: 0:00

you, sir, were in my dream last night. Oh, do go on. Yes, indeed, so the dream begins. Let's just jump right in. Set the fucking stage. I don't need to set a stage. There is no stage. There is no land, eric, we are adrift at sea. Oh, fuck.

Eric: 0:20

Yes have we killed an albatross.

Matt: 0:24

Now, Eric, what do you? When I say we're drift at sea, what do you picture?

Eric: 0:29

I'm picturing when we're adrift.

Matt: 0:32

We are adrift at sea.

Eric: 0:33

We are in the tattered remains of like a lifeboat. We are both. We are both shirtless. We are both. We both have like those ratty, like poofof, like poofy harem pants that like kind of pirates war, but they're all pirates, okay, like no, like it is suggested. Pirate buccaneers of the high seas uh I, I like one of us definitely has like a bandana tied around his eye like, okay, we are rough, yeah, we're, we're we're rough.

Matt: 1:05

Wow, um, you're not close at all, okay, no, nowhere even close. Here's the situation. Yes, tattered clothes, yes, okay, well that was a little close tattered clothes?

Matt: 1:18

sure, because we're drift at sea. Yeah. Are we on a raft? No, we are not. Are we on some sort of like two by four that's floating by? No, we are not. Are we on the door from titanic? We're not on the door from titanic. In fact, eric, if anything, I am the only one on anything, because I have just grappled onto you like you're a buoy and you are bobbing.

Matt: 1:47

You're bobbing, the two of us through the sea, through fighting for my fucking life, fighting for your life, while I am hooked onto you of like a barnacle. Yes, you were just and so we're bobbing towards land. That land comes into sight, and the reason we see it is because it's an amusement park. We see the ferris wheel in the distance. We see a like a roller coaster you know the slope of a roller coaster and so we bob our way there am I making this sound as I try to not drown as you, and I just imagine pushing my head under the fucking waves faster

Matt: 2:30

boy yeah yeah, I have spurs on, and so we're. We're bobbing our way towards the shore and we, we, we get there, we crawl our way onto shore, and now I've described this to you amusement park, yeah, edge of the water, you know, on the coast. What does that say to you? Where do you think we?

Eric: 2:51

are eric, I mean like ocean city immediately comes to mind. Could be.

Matt: 2:55

What about coney island? Coney island also comes now you would think you'd see other things before you get to coney island like, like the city of new york. No, eric, I'll tell you where we are, we. But somehow we knew, you know, you know that thing in dreams where you suddenly like, oh, you know, I looked at this and I was like, oh my god, we're in lisbon now, wait now of course just to be clear, you might think I'm talking about Lisbon, the capital of Portugal, which I don't think is actually on the water in any way.

Matt: 3:33

No, no, eric, I'm talking about Lisbon, Colombia, oh, okay, wait, I'll save you the Googling. It doesn't exist.

Eric: 3:43

Oh so Lisbon in Colombia, maryland, maryland, no, no, no. Lisbon in the columbia of country.

Matt: 3:49

Okay, okay that we are just bobbing our way to. I'm waiting. I see you with the phone. I'm waiting for you to put it together I'm no, I I'm just.

Eric: 4:00

Lisbon is super on the water, so you're not far off. That's what I was confirming in in lisbon, portugal.

Matt: 4:08

In lisbon, portugal sorry, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking lisbon, columbia lisbon, columbia, which, again, I cannot stress enough, is not a place, not real, it does not never was.

Eric: 4:23

It does not exist. It's your john freaks on fact or fiction right now just hitting us with the never was correct. We made it up.

Matt: 4:32

Absolutely correct, a farce. And then, when we get to the amusement park, we start going through the city of lisbon, columbia place that doesn't exist. We, we leave the amusement park in our dust and the two of us are walking down the street and all of a sudden, these, these two law men, uh, appear in front of us like we're walking down a street right and they come out from around the corner. They pointed us and go there they are. And then I wake up go there they are.

Eric: 5:04

And then I wake up, bro, I think we're getting chased by dream police. I don't. I think there's a dream warrant out for our arrest.

Matt: 5:14

What do you make of this dream?

Eric: 5:16

I think there's a dream warrant out for our arrest and I think we're in very real danger. You do not run from the dream, cops, why?

Matt: 5:23

Now I have no further information, no further context. I don't know what we could have done. As far as I know, we have survived some sort of tragedy clearly, or if the dream cops are after us um I mean, like what you think, we've committed some sort of dream crime we committed dream treason?

Eric: 5:41

oh, we, we committed, we did something. What is dream treason? Again, dream treason, I imagine, is when you, you can commit as much crime as you want in your dream. Okay, but you, like slightly said we were on a, but we were, we were drift, so at some point we were on some sort of vessel. I'm starting to think that we were in someone else's dreams doing dream crimes.

Matt: 6:05

And fell out of their dream.

Eric: 6:07

And fell out of their dream into your dream. Into my dream Into your dream. Well, that's how we escaped.

Matt: 6:14

And so when you're in another, when you've infiltrated somebody else's dream, when you leave you don't have any memory of it? Is that what you're suggesting?

Eric: 6:21

Yeah, it's like waking up from a dream, like, but you know, you know how it goes. So, like you were, you were probably I mean, if the, if the documentary inception is to be believed, you were at least three layers deep, certainly. So we definitely did dream crimes. And now I'm concerned because, like, what do we do? You can do anything in your dreams it's true.

Matt: 6:42

It particularly ride your co-host like a buoy through the waves. And I cannot stress enough, eric, I'm doing nothing to to okay you are just kicking I am just full on arms and legs wrapped around you as you bob up and down. As far as I know, you are also not kicking or trying to swim. We are just bobbing and you are our life vessel.

Eric: 7:10

Okay, it's kind of sweet in a way. You cling to me like I like let you know like we're in a storm yeah, like we're in any port, any poach in a storm any poach in a storm. That's the name of the episode. That's the name of the episode.

Matt: 7:26

We got it one, folks well, hello everybody, and welcome to you. Didn't Ask For this the podcast that answers life's least pressing questions. My name is Matthew Shea.

Eric: 7:53

My name's Eric Poach Eric.

Matt: 7:55

Poach.

Eric: 7:55

How are you Marvelous? I am now free. It was actually a good thing that we couldn't record this past weekend, because I also forgot this weekend this past weekend, because I also forgot this weekend. This past weekend was the dundalk heritage festival. Oh yes, we've talked about it before. On the show this year got not one, but two motley crew cover bands hell yeah count them two and we actually attended like we went uh we went, so we could we could see the uh, the, the led zeppelin cover band, who are like famous around undock uh, uh what are they called the?

Eric: 8:31

great, get the let out, get the let out it's very good get the let out and we had.

Eric: 8:37

We had just gotten there, just bought tickets, get the let out, had just started playing and it started torrential downpour raining. I'm sitting there holding uh uh, some carny poor list is trying to eat a funnel cake. I'm balancing my, my gyro and my, my deep fried oreos. We had to make a quick scramble. It was a things got dire there for a second. I live 10 feet from this festival. This is like, yeah, this was all happening essentially in my front, because nothing says, kickstart my heart like a funnel cake.

Eric: 9:10

And then, you know, we we had to get away from the rain, so we were just and, and, and the guy up on stage was nice eric it's one with the same song for the second joke.

Matt: 9:25

I appreciate that. Yeah, I think it's sing my song, by the way me, but matthew and the evil one now listen. It is now july, yes, which means six months of 2024 have now gone. Gone by the wayside.

Eric: 9:46

I don't know where that time went.

Matt: 9:47

I don't know how we got here no but we are now half a year removed from the beginning of the year, which means it's time for us to check in on those bingo cards. Oh, it is time to do that. So we did this last year as well, where, obviously, if you're unfamiliar, we start the year with our bingo card selection what we think is going to be happening throughout the year. This is my bingo card that we're looking at right now. We have a number Now. If you need the whole bingo cards, you can find those on our Instagram. I'm doing okay. I think I'd be doing great if Chris Rock and Will Smith did a Super Bowl ad. They did not.

Matt: 10:37

They did not, so that's a big old red blemish on mine, but otherwise big old goose. Barbie, nominated for Best Picture, steamboat Willie, film announced, are both in my same Y column of the Yadath bingo, as is Eric gets in to soccer. Because I think we can confirm it, eric, not only have you watched soccer games without me, without me even prompting you, but you told me that the only feed to the game you had was in Spanish. You are watching soccer in, not your own language.

Eric: 11:23

If that doesn't say to me you got into soccer, I don't know what does and folks, I cannot stress enough, if you ever just want to treat yourself, watch a soccer match that is being commentated on by spanish commentators. It is the greatest thing on earth. They god it is.

Matt: 11:41

It is so incredible much fun and nothing brings me more joy than when there's a problem with a goal or it's being checked or something, because you get the trademark goal Okay, Like just in the middle of the goal.

Eric: 11:59

And you nailed it because I got to witness that happen, yes, happen, and it truly is like they do the.

Matt: 12:10

And then you texted me about watching this particular game as part of the euros and you you told me you're watching and I knew you were watching in spanish at this point, so I just texted you and I was like do you need a little explanation as to what's?

Eric: 12:24

going on. They kicked the ball and then the number went up, but then the number went down and I was like do you need a little explanation as to what's going on? They kicked the ball and then the number went up, but then the number went down and I was like now everyone's mad.

Matt: 12:31

I don't understand.

Eric: 12:32

Matt predicted like called that shot from a mile away. He's like uh, do you need me to explain what just happened? Just in case you might just be on the off chance that you have no fucking clue.

Matt: 12:43

Or are you just enjoying making up your own lore?

Eric: 12:49

Not a thought behind those eyes.

Matt: 12:52

Another green square I've got on my bingo card is someone attends a major award ceremony in an inflatable outfit. Now I suppose you could argue about how major this is, but for our British listeners, I think they would consider the Brit Awards to be a fairly major award ceremony. Find that a man who I'm not familiar with, rob beckett, uh attended robbie b attended this award ceremony in an inflatable giraffe outfit and this I'd say this is major because the next person on this red carpet is dualipa yeah, oh, I know rob beckett.

Eric: 13:42

So I think I get it, I think it counts, it absolutely counts and it's very on brand for him. Regular contestant on Taskmaster, british comedian. Very funny human inflatable giraffe scans.

Matt: 13:55

Absolutely so. That's my bingo card. I've got one red, four green, but none of them are particularly aligned. My best chance right now is that we reach the top five on good pods, which, like low key, I don't think a lot of. I feel like good pods might be dying. Good pods might be on the out. Good pods you didn't hear that. It might be on the out, so get. We might need a new free space next, a new goal space next time. Okay, but anyway, still review us on the good pods.

Eric: 14:29

Review us on good pods because, as people leave, that only bolsters our engagement with those who remain.

Matt: 14:34

Yes, and the other two squares I have in that row are Gwyneth Paltrow changes her name, I don't rule that out. And I don't rule that out. And then Amelia Earhart's remains found. Now, this has been the subject of controversy. Yes, this has come up a couple of times so far this year.

Eric: 14:56

We got so many messages about this.

Matt: 14:58

We got so many messages when that like infrared footage showed up of what might be could be Amelia Earhart's plane. As far as I know, no one's gone down there. No one's made any attempt to ocean gate this and see what is going on and see if that is her plane. Now in the episode, in our first episode of the year, I did state remains a definitive proof needed to be found. I would say I'll amend that to if it is her plane. I think we can deduce what happened from there on out.

Eric: 15:41

Yeah, so if it is, circle gets the square, so to speak.

Matt: 15:47

We gotta count that, but we don't have that kind of proof yet we don't have that confirmation. Now here is your bingo card, eric. Yeah, you have one green square. Someone attends major awards ceremony inflatable outfit. You have three reds the Chris Rock and Will Smith do a Super Bowl ad. Finland wins Eurovision. And then finally, eric, I'd like you to speak a little bit about Matt gets into Eurovision.

Eric: 16:14

Look, I'm great at starting a project.

Matt: 16:18

We started. You gave me the YouTube playlist, the app of ranking the people, and I started started ranking them. I started ranking them, but you had I fell off the wagon.

Eric: 16:32

You had finland's baby lasagnas rim tim taki is your number one at the time. Yes, at the time. And then minor misstep on my part, I forgot to tell you when to actually watch the competition. Yes, because it was like pretty much over by the time.

Matt: 16:48

I was like oh shit well, I, I remember I texted you at one point because I, I believe I sent you the headline. Who won is, uh, switzerland. So okay, I don't even know who won, so you can't say I.

Matt: 17:01

I don't think you can realistically say I got into your I know I began to get into eurovision I I agree with your assessment and that kills me next, next year now we we agreed that we were, as part of our deaths and other things that we're going to do, every bingo card, we're going to try to get each other into something. I've already told you what mine's gonna be for 2025. Do you remember it?

Eric: 17:28

uh, oh, you're gonna get me into. Oh, it was a good one too oh oh yeah, this I do remember, because there is a huge asterisk next to it. Matt's gonna get me into Survivor, correct, asterix, that giant asterix being he, better tag team it with Alyssa or she will be so disappointed.

Matt: 17:50

I'll discuss it with Alyssa. We'll come up with a game plan, yeah.

Eric: 17:54

Because Alyssa and I would be remiss if I did not say this. And I'm saying this loud enough so she can hear me, so she can hear me stating it. For the fucking record, you don't need to do this. Alyssa has been trying to get me into Survivor for a number of years.

Matt: 18:09

And where Alyssa failed, I will succeed. Got him, got him, I will succeed. Eric, no one can stop me now. If I got you into soccer, I can get you into Survivor, no problem. So you got time. I, I can get you in a survivor, no problem. Yeah, so you got time. I don't think you can reuse eurovision now. That is not to say I'm not interested still in getting myself into eurovision.

Eric: 18:33

Uh, it's I enjoyed ranking the videos it was fun and it, it's a, it's a hoot um yeah and I, but I can't count, I can't. I can understand why, because originally I was like why is it a red square? We still got plenty of time, but in order to properly get you into Eurovision, it needs to be like happening live. You need to be tuning in live.

Matt: 18:54

You can't say that. I got into Eurovision this year when I found out who won through a Facebook post. I know, I just don't want to be blamed.

Eric: 19:07

Your number one, by the way, at the time your number one did take second place in Eurovision Croatia's Rim Tim Taghi by Baby Lasagna.

Matt: 19:19

Rim Tim Taghi was a great song. I had a great time listening to it. And then what ended up happening is lindsey's wanted to get into ranking the video, so we started watching them together. But you know, then we have to coordinate. Like watching them I can't just do in my free time. Yeah, so like, eventually we just sort of like petered out, you know, and did eric text me to say, hey, how's that list coming?

Matt: 19:43

hey, I haven't gotten an update no, but I did that with soccer now, didn't I? Yeah, you did. That's how you do it, eric, you gotta stay on me. That's why, in the dream, you're the buoy and I'm the barnacle stay, you stay staying on me, I stay on you.

Matt: 20:05

Now I have one other thing to share. So, of our submitted bingo cards, we do have a couple that are doing better than others. So I feel like we should go over those, don't you think, eric? I I mean a little reward for submitting them. So let's see who's the closest of what we got. I don't want to go over them all necessarily. I think, uh, our closest is aj stiegler on instagram. Aj stiegs, he's got threes, but he also has got three greens.

Eric: 20:46

He's got two potential columns, three potential columns, two potential rows.

Matt: 20:51

Yes, he's got Barbie and Eric gets into soccer in one row along with the Steamboat Willie horror film right above it. A couple of other people have three that are pretty disparate yeah, I will say zacky, d's got two in one row, yeah um, only one of them can become a column what he'd need to get.

Matt: 21:15

Uh, to get the other three. He needs third rock reboot announced. He needs chunk to win fat bear week, which has obviously not happened yet. We also have a number of of picks that have to do with the Olympics, so those are far off.

Eric: 21:31

I'm also just now realizing, man, some people are going to be so miffed at me. Why is that? Because not getting you into Eurovision, that just threw a big old red square.

Matt: 21:42

It threw a big red square into a lot.

Eric: 21:44

I'm going to get doxxed bro.

Matt: 21:46

You could get doxxed.

Eric: 21:47

I'm going to get bingo doxxed.

Matt: 21:48

So if for Zachy D Third Rock reboot gets announced, chunk wins Fat Bear Week and Justin Bieber dies, then he will get no pressure, you daft bingo. Oh, alexa Lee, I have to mark down the Mackets into your version as being a red square.

Eric: 22:12

Damn oh. I just watched my incompetence destroy bingo dreams in real time.

Matt: 22:18

ALexalee had two in a row, but now she's got a red square in that row and that's pretty much the case across the board. F Saville on Instagram does also have two in a row. She needs us to reach the top five on Good Pods. She needs USA to lead all Olympic medals and gold medals and finally, amelia Earhart's remains. Gotta keep the faith Wink. So those are all the people with three or more that have a chance. So that's your bingo card update. If you haven't been keeping track of your own scores, don't worry, I have. So everybody, the game goes on on, and so does this podcast, eric. Should we get to some questions?

Eric: 23:11

let 30 minutes in. Let's get to some questions. Hit me with the first one. Buddy, you're writing the new 10 commandments. What are they? And that's from at mike perry jr on instagram. That's our boy, mike specifically on june reds as a matter on threads good friend of the pod, good guest of the pod and all around good good boy, good human good guest.

Matt: 23:34

Go, go, get a piece of him. I don't know what that means, mike. I apologize now the so he. It's 10 commandments. First of all, this is somewhat topical because not, not, not when we're recording this, only like a week ago I did, was it Louisiana?

Matt: 23:56

It was Louisiana made it mandatory for all public schools to display the 10 commandments in their classrooms, to display the 10 commandments in their classrooms, to display the 10 commandments and when, when mentioned to them of like, what do you tell people who are not judeo-christian oriented? And the, the governor or whatever was like? Well, they can just look away, um, and to that I think we should give a hearty fuck you.

Matt: 24:28

A very deeply sincere you can go fuck, you can go fuck, and that's from Eric and I to all the lawmakers that made this abysmal law possible.

Matt: 24:37

Terrible, terrible, terrible idea for so many reasons that we don't need to get into for so many reasons that we don't need to get into, but if the Ten Commandments, if a Ten Commandments, are going to be displayed in our children's classrooms, eric, I think we owe it to this country to come up with a good set of commandments that works for everybody, that works yes, the commandments that work for us.

Eric: 25:03

That work for us as a nation. Can I start us out by setting the tone. You can do whatever the fuck.

Matt: 25:09

You want bud.

Eric: 25:10

Commandments Out Commandments.

Matt: 25:13

You're not commanding anything.

Eric: 25:15

These are the recommendments, the 10 suggestions, the 10 recommendments, the 10 recommendments. Also, here's a fun thing when you Google the 10 commandments, you didn't know what they were.

Matt: 25:29

You had to Google them.

Eric: 25:30

No, I you know.

Matt: 25:32

How many wives you coveted my friend? I broke. He falsed all over my witness. I broke him.

Eric: 25:41

I broke him he falsed all over my witness till I coveted Jesus Christ. But no, when you Google them, it does like the Google thing. Oh, here's the Ten Commandments. It does the Google formatting where it's three rows of three and then at the very bottom, which, if you're counting along at home, that's nine, but don't worry, kids, at the very bottom it has, if you're counting along at home, that's nine, but don't worry, kids, at the very bottom it has the little button that says one more Nice, more commandment, the one they hid. This is the one that Google, the algorithm, decided that you shall not make idols no false idols.

Eric: 26:20

Yes, wow, well they. They did this weird thing where they kind of like they, they recognize that there's like 10 different versions of the 10 commandments, depending on what your faith is, and that could just be within your own faith. So, like they gave like the very general broad stroke version of each one don't make idols, don't make idols. There's one just says, there's one that just says false witness.

Matt: 26:42

That's it, no other words. No, do not. Yeah, no bear.

Eric: 26:49

Got a commandment. Okay, got a recommendment.

Matt: 26:51

Got a recommendment.

Eric: 26:52

Thou shall not talk to the cops without your legal counsel present.

Matt: 26:57

Okay, you know what, if we're going to spaghetti at the wall to begin with, I won't rank them right away. No, we don't have them right away. We'll start, no we don't do that shit. I'll start a list, all right? So don't talk to the cops without attorney presence. Is that what you said?

Eric: 27:12

Yes.

Matt: 27:12

Okay, got it. We talked about this a lot in a previous episode, only a few episodes ago, but I'm going to put it here. Thou shalt commit to the bit, thou shall commit to the bit. I think it. I think it has to be there at least in the discussion we have to discuss it. Yeah, thou shalt listen to thine body.

Eric: 27:34

Listen to thine body explain if your body's like hey, I'm hungry, you need to eat.

Matt: 27:41

If your body's like I'm thirsty oh, I think treat, treat yourself needs to be there treat thyself, treat thyself, treat thyself as thyself would treat onto. There is no way treat thyself does not end up in the final 10, I think that's gotta be, yeah, I think based solely treat thyself, baby um you know, what? Let's put it as one right now yeah, that's our current.

Eric: 28:13

Number one is treat thyself is the new first commandment. Treat thyself, lest thou yeet thyself I think you might have gone too far. No, that's just like, like that's like everyone will say treat thyself, lest thou yeet thyself. I think you might have gone too far. No, that's just like. Like, that's like everyone will say treat thyself, but that's when. Like, that's when arrogant sons of bitches will slide in like um, actually the, if you listen to the, the whole saying, the other half of that is less value, less thy yeet, thyself which really changes the meaning like shut up, next commandment shut up shut up.

Matt: 28:45

Let's write a town in the list it's in there, shut up.

Eric: 28:49

And that's not telling you to shut up, that's give, that's empowering you to win, like when someone's just coming you have such a vibe going on, when you have like a good, like the vibes are chill and it's like, oh yeah, treat thyself. And then someone's like, um, uh well, actually that's, you are empowered, shut up yeah, just throw it out there you gotta sit, you got you just gotta.

Eric: 29:13

You gotta let the kettle boil over a little bit. Absolutely, I couldn't agree more, but only to men and only when they're wrong, which is pretty much always pretty much, pretty much all the time.

Matt: 29:23

See this podcast now. Do we need to base any on the original? Like parl these?

Eric: 29:31

are a good springboard what do you mean?

Matt: 29:34

these, the ones we've come up so?

Eric: 29:35

no with so far, or the original 10, 10 commandments one the original, the first draft of the. Ten Commandments.

Matt: 29:44

Yeah, which we've been rocking with for some time.

Eric: 29:46

Yeah.

Matt: 29:48

Ever since Moses came down with them stones.

Eric: 29:52

Mm-hmm. Thou shalt not listen to stones. Thou shalt not listen. Not to be confused with the stones. No, no, you can listen to the stones. You can listen to the stones, but don't listen. Don't listen to stones. Don can listen to the stones. You can listen to the stones, but don't listen. Don't listen to stones, don't listen to stones. Rocks safe.

Matt: 30:07

Stones mm. Again the stones. As in rolling, yeah, safe to listen to, totally fine Stones. As in mineral. Don't go. This is dumb. This is a joke that didn't work. I apologize.

Eric: 30:22

That's okay don't go.

Matt: 30:25

This is dumb. This is a joke that didn't work. I apologize. I apologize to you. I'm not even writing it down um it obviously is bad.

Eric: 30:29

Thou shall not apologize unnecessarily. Yeah there's a better there's a better phrasing for that thou thou thou shalt rock with thyself, no stupid you're right, man, you want god, you want this rock I apologize again. Uh, the twice in a row, twice in a row for my improv no, no, no, I'm trying to we commit to the bit thou shall thou shalt leave no rock uncoveted.

Matt: 31:02

Uncoveted.

Eric: 31:05

Rocks are pretty neat.

Matt: 31:07

Wait. So now we're forcing people to covet rocks?

Eric: 31:11

Did I just unwittingly back the diamond trade?

Matt: 31:16

Eric, I think you did. I think you are a blood diamond. Oh, my God, you're the blood diamond in the rough, my friend.

Eric: 31:26

Remember the Sabbath. We can keep that the same but just kind of change the intention. It's just. I think we should all just bear in mind and recognize the contributions the Black Sabbath made to the music scene. They walked so we could run, Remember Sabbath. And when I say they walked, I mean they fucking ran, so we could like watch them run past us and go. Man, that was what were they doing? What?

Matt: 31:52

are they on Just how they doing that? So that's just remember Sabbath, not the necessarily.

Eric: 31:59

Yeah, just remember Sabbath.

Matt: 32:00

Remember Sabbath Because they're sick. We'll put that out there for sure. Uh, that's on the list. What about? Is there something with yolo? Or is it too many years removed from that phrase, I think?

Eric: 32:15

we, I think we. This is a good check-in because we're still relatively close to where I think it ended. But I do think the the zeitgeist we've moved past, we, we're past. Yolo, yeah, I we're we're past. You only live once and I think a lot of us right now are just in um, o-g-i-w-t-l, just, oh god, I want to live. Oh god, I want to live. Oh God, I want to live.

Matt: 32:45

Oh God, I want to live. I'm writing down the acronym and I'm going to see later. We're going to circle back and see if you remember what it is.

Eric: 32:54

Okay, fair assessment.

Matt: 32:55

There we go, we're going to put that down. But I thought of the YOLO thing because of what you said about like we're going to the sabbath and then you went a different direction, but where I thought you might be going with it is like living for the weekend, so to speak. Okay, and you know, I am going to say actually we can change that to working for the weekend. Working thou shalt work for the weekend as opposed to work for work.

Eric: 33:25

Thou, thou shalt work for the weekend, and let the weekend work for thou eric.

Matt: 33:31

Jesus christ, you're good at this. Work for the weekend, and let the weekend work for thou. Yeah, thou shalt on my list.

Eric: 33:43

Thou shalt is just all implied yeah, yeah, I would say uh, thou shalt go by no name but thy own, okay meaning, and this is for all my yeah, I feel like you better define yeah yeah, as we, as we exit, as as we, as, as we leave, another beautiful Pride Month.

Eric: 34:05

I just want to remember all my babies out there that, no matter what name you were given, no matter what name people try to give you, the only name that you should ever go by is your name, and you know what your name is. You're you. No one else can tell you what your name is.

Matt: 34:22

Eric, I think that's beautiful. I don't know if that's a beautiful baby. Baby, let's put it down. It's in the list that technically could be 10. We don't necessarily have to keep going, but I feel like we we should.

Eric: 34:33

At least let's get a few more in the little safeties, little safety recommendations yeah, because some of these I feel like are a little weaker than others.

Matt: 34:40

You know well, you know, I guess, like the original commandments are sort of a guidance to live by religiously. So perhaps we got to keep that in mind, not the religious part, but the the, the rules to live by, the suggestions to live by I feel like we nailed so many just with treat thyself I mean mean truly. We kind of did it Like god, we came out, that's our.

Eric: 35:05

Thou shall not kill Thou shalt thou.

Matt: 35:09

This is extremely important this year, but also every year. Thou shalt vote thou shalt vote thou shalt exercise thy vote. Thou shalt exercise thy vote, thou shalt make thy voice be heard.

Eric: 35:25

That's it that encompasses so much. Thou shalt make thy voice be heard.

Matt: 35:32

Because that's beyond voting, but it encompasses voting. Yes, that is good. Yes, yes, it is. Remember to vote for Joe, or.

Eric: 35:41

Blue. And because we're on recommendations, recommendations we're not commanding, but like big recommendation, kids, thou shall not. And this, this, this, this, this ties closely to thou shall not talk to the cops, uh, thou shall not snitch. Thou shall not snitch, now, I think that could absorb.

Matt: 35:58

Thou shall not talk to the cops about your intern for for just a second I thought you were gonna go with an og and just say thou shalt not steal like, keep it in there. There are some that maybe we could keep. For example, thou shall not kill. Do we want to keep it or do we think maybe it's covered?

Eric: 36:18

the message has been received like it's a I feel like we've got it. We know better.

Matt: 36:24

You say you feel like it should be a given, but God put it in stone, yeah, so he didn't feel necessarily like it was a given.

Eric: 36:36

I guess, if you're subscribed to that sort of thing, Okay, okay, okay, okay, just to keep with thematically thou shalt not snitch, thou shalt not stitch.

Matt: 36:48

Okay, don't hurt other people.

Eric: 36:51

Okay, If a stitch is what a snitch gets. If no one snitches, no one gets stitches.

Matt: 36:56

Thou shalt not stitch. I'm gonna write it down.

Eric: 36:59

I firmly believe that the only reason anyone dies ever is because and not to say that someone died because they snitched, but some people have died because someone snitched- Okay, I do like that you're looking around at your empty room.

Matt: 37:16

A visual joke probably, just for me. Yeah, my little sunshine. Thanks, pal.

Eric: 37:30

You're my little buoy, yeah um, thou shalt find thy buoy. Thou shalt find thy buoy, thou shalt be buoyant thou shalt be buoyant is funnier.

Matt: 37:41

That's not useful, but that's fine. So we've got what Like. 14 options now.

Eric: 37:48

I think we nailed it.

Matt: 37:49

So we have, by my calculations, one, two, three, four that have to go from the list, and the list is don't talk to the cops without an attorney, commit to the bit, listen to thine body shut up. Oh, actually, this one just says thou shalt so we're, we only need to I thought that was meta as fuck.

Eric: 38:12

We do you know what that kind of yeah, that was shout that was shout um.

Matt: 38:18

so we're going to keep, thou shalt Remember, sabbath.

Eric: 38:22

Yeah.

Matt: 38:23

O-G-I-W-T-L, which stands for what?

Eric: 38:26

Oh God, I want to live.

Matt: 38:31

Okay, thou shalt work for the weekend, and let the weekend work for thou Go by no name but thy own. Thou shalt make thy voice heard, thou shalt not snitch. Thou shalt not stitch, stitch. Thou shalt be buoyant. And finally, of course, thou shall okay.

Eric: 38:52

So off the dome. I think buoyant can go buoyant can certainly go, I think uh, now I think it's between do we keep ogi wtl or do we keep thou shall not stitch, because those are both covering, don't die. Do we need either of them? What if we combine them into one? Thou shalt protect thy neck that okay, I like it.

Matt: 39:18

Thou shalt protect thy neck, which then gets rid of thy shall not stitch. Shout out Wu-Tang.

Eric: 39:26

Clan.

Matt: 39:27

So we've got two more to get rid of. Some of these I can't even consider getting rid of Thou shalt is funny Thou shalt is funny, but I think it can go.

Eric: 39:39

It can go and then we can just combine. I think don't talk to the cops out an attorney, that's. That's very good life advice. Um but that is covered under. Thou shall not snitch, because you can snitch on yourself by talking to the cops without an attorney present.

Matt: 39:54

I agree. So thou shall not snitch, is there? So there we, we actually do have it. Treat thyself Number one. We actually do have it. Treat thyself number one. Thou shalt commit to the bit, thou shalt listen to thine body, thou shalt shut up. Thou shalt remember Sabbath.

Eric: 40:11

Also worth noting for number four. I think that's where we get anachronistic and where the religious scholars will debate about this for years. There is no thou shalt in front of it's just shut up, of it's just shut up. Oh, it's just shut up.

Matt: 40:26

Shut up. In fact, you know what I didn't add an exclamation point, but I am now Perfect, so it's also the only one with punctuation.

Eric: 40:33

Yeah, that's gonna throw them. Thou shalt protect thy neck. Thou shalt work for the weekend and let the weekend work for thou. I love that one. Go by no name but thy own. That's my personal favorite. That's a good one. Thou shall make thy voice be heard and thou shall not smitch I eric, I kind of feel like these are solid I'm not gonna lie to you. Going into like seeing what we started with and seeing where we are, I I was like we'll see what shakes out. We'll see if this works.

Matt: 41:08

I have no problem with these being displayed in a children's classroom no qualms whatsoever.

Eric: 41:15

Also, I do think what will start the holy wars, though, is you'll have two camps camp exclamation point and camp period for shut up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Matt: 41:26

Well, no other commandment has punctuation in ours. So I do think it's whether or not you include punctuation at all with that one. Yeah, and I think you're right. Whether or not it is exclamatory is the sticking point. Now, eric, we do have anotheratory is the sticking point. Yeah, now, eric, we do have another question in the quiver.

Eric: 41:47

Okay.

Matt: 41:48

But we also have a very highly anticipated return to Google Gripe season four.

Eric: 41:56

Oh, and I do like the next question, but I want to give it due time.

Matt: 42:01

Do we do once again? Just one question.

Eric: 42:04

Yeah.

Matt: 42:04

Since we did do the check-in. Yeah, all right, let's do that. Okay, let's leave it be. Plus, we've given everyone 10 commandments. Leave it be.

Eric: 42:12

Leave it be. Leave it be, man. That could have been a commandment is leave it be Not anymore Not anymore.

Matt: 42:20

We got the 10. We moved on Sorry the recommendments. The recommendments. So, eric, yeah, baby. That brings us to Google Gripes Gripe, gripe, gripe. Now, if you're just joining us, just run down it real quick. Google Gripes is a segment, a little game that we play, where we find one-star Google reviews of well-known places. At least, that was seasons one through three. We read those one star reviews and the other person guesses what the location is With season four.

Eric: 42:54

We made it movies, yes, and so I have selected three movies each with three one star reviews each. I'm going to read those reviews and Matt's going to guess what movies, matthew, are you?

Matt: 43:06

ready, I am ready to go, but before we get in there, just the current score after round one is two to one. You, eric, okay, and I'm interested. I feel like I got to step up my game because you did like bill me as this big old cinephile, which I don't necessarily agree with. But you know, I do think I know more movies than you. So I hope I do better this time, because otherwise I'm just letting my own self down.

Eric: 43:33

You're not playing the movies, matt.

Matt: 43:34

You're playing the reviews which means you're playing me. All right, I'm ready, eric, give it to me.

Eric: 43:47

Test me ready, eric, give it to me, test me, baby. Movie. One review. One would give no stars if I could. No representation. They made every voice actor white, even though this takes place in blank. Movie is also boring so boring that I'm writing this review. I feel like no effort was put into this, like it was a side movie that unintentionally famous. Okay, a side movie that unintentionally famous. It's interesting. Review number two my friend dong ding jing wrote a review on it. I'm a country man so I am very confused about why the animals are the people. There should be more trucks and more guns. My cats have never been so confused about why there are animals in the movie. Shouldn't there be people?

Matt: 44:36

Okay.

Eric: 44:37

Alright.

Matt: 44:38

Review number three.

Eric: 44:40

Possibly the greatest review I've ever read in my life. Okay, this movie is so bad that they forgot to show that they pee as well. They are animals as well, are they not so bad? Honestly, it's so disrespectful as well. Shame on you, cymbolo and Skarella and Thingamabib and Woobabla and Moomerella, and you as well. Shame on everyone. Frowny face emoji.

Matt: 45:05

Ich bin ein Banana okay, I had a different guess, but based solely on that last review, really, with the other ones, I'm just gonna go for it. I'm gonna come out. I'm not gonna waste any time. Are we talking about the lion king?

Eric: 45:24

we are talking about the lion king. Okay, okay, we're talking about the lion king okay, what a hundred percent? I was like I have a couple of options I had to fight every instinct to sing that in the tone like, like I was, like, keep it flat you came close enough I yeah, yeah that I was like this has to be what this is.

Matt: 45:47

Okay, I just love at eek bin ein banana introducing German into it is bold move is quite the choice.

Eric: 45:58

Yes, Okay, all right, in true gripes fashion, I, that was the first one, the easiest one, yes, and they're going to step it up, you're going?

Matt: 46:06

to try to step it up. I understand, I anticipated nothing less good man movie number two.

Eric: 46:13

Almost 40 years ago this garbage hit the big screen. Never liked actor before this role and I haven't liked him since. Terrible overacting in this film and mostly he's no for his shouting, not acting skills. I guess in the 80s there weren't many actors worth watching and someone decided to give his career a push and then we were stuck with him for the next 35 years or so. He's just plain terrible in everything he's done. Stop saying he's an icon. He's a. Never was been. That got undeserved attention when there wasn't anyone better on the horizon. This movie was so over the top that I didn't even bother finishing it. Walked out of the theater after about 40 minutes.

Matt: 46:53

Okay, hold on. I've got a few different actors this could be, so I'm just writing them down while they're in my brain. All right, go ahead. I've got my notes.

Eric: 47:04

Review number two. I saw this when it came out, hated it, then Just rewatched. Worse than I remembered. Horrendous acting by everyone. Even actor who is Cuban sounds ridiculous. Other actors so over the top acting the dialogue, the rest of the cast, terrible, heavy handed. And this is coming from a famous director, fan Ugh.

Matt: 47:28

Famous director fan Cuban. That's interesting.

Eric: 47:32

Review number three.

Matt: 47:33

Okay.

Eric: 47:35

Only movie I ever saw that the audience booed at the end. Lots of unintentionally funny stuff as actor gives ridiculous over-the-top performance. Stick with the 1930s original.

Matt: 47:47

Stick with the 1930s original. Okay, that makes me think of a particular movie, uh-huh, that I thought was in the 90s. But they I mean they could be wrong famous director fan ug oh man, I I thought I was on to it. I really did think I was on to it, which I now think I'm wrong. And that would make sense, because I'd be surprised if you pick this, but I am now not sure what else it could be. Stick with the 1930s original. I don't think this is what you're going for and I can't pinpoint who the Cuban actor would be in this movie. All right, what's coming to mind with the 1930s original and everything? I'm wrong about this, I know I am, but is it Father of the Bride? Is that your guess? I know Father of the Bride came out either in like 91, 92, something like that. I know it's not an 80s movie, but it's close enough.

Eric: 49:00

Is that your guess?

Matt: 49:02

Very good Because, all right, let me walk you through who the actors I thought were. Okay, I haven't locked in my guess.

Eric: 49:10

You have not locked in a goddamn thing.

Matt: 49:13

The has-been I was getting, two names rose to the top for me. Okay, chevy Chase and Bill Murray. Now, I love Bill Murray, I fucking love him. But I could see where these reviews point to him.

Eric: 49:28

Yeah, yeah, fair, fair assessment.

Matt: 49:31

And I'm trying to think of something else that could point to him. It could be like Groundhog Day maybe, or Scrooged. I don trying to think of something else that could point to him. It could be like Groundhog Day maybe, but I don't, or Scrooge, I don't really think so. Chevy Chase, it could be any of the National Lampoons, but that doesn't really. I mean, it could be anything, because he does. He has so fallen from grace.

Eric: 49:50

Oh God, he was never in every. From what I've heard, everyone is just despised him from day one.

Matt: 49:57

And that's what. That's why I think that one review that's all about the actor points to but I also think it could apply to Steve Martin and there was an original father of the bride. I don't know if it was in the 30s, but it was a long time ago. Oh wait a minute, scarface. Final answer. I don't know if it was in the 30s, but it was a long time ago. Oh wait a minute.

Eric: 50:20

Scarface. Final answer Fuck you, yep, yep, damn it. Whack it, move it, because when I set this one. I was like maybe if I hit him with enough, maybe if I make him duck and weave, it'll either throw him off and, like I was, like the longer this goes on I was like it's gonna click did you watch it? Click. You saw it clicking, I saw. I saw. I saw matt stopped being on screen and I saw tony montana because I'll tell you what it was.

Matt: 50:51

I was going through these movies and I was like who's cuban? And then I remember the review said actually cuban. And that's what made everything fall into place. And don't you ever insult al pacino in my presence again, reviewer, yeah, yeah, don't you ever do that. Should he have been casted as t Montana? Probably not, but he was. And, yes, he has somewhat become a parody of himself in this day of age, but he's one of the greatest actors who has ever lived.

Eric: 51:24

But hey, matt, just to play devil's advocate, Shut the fuck up, eric.

Matt: 51:28

It was pretty good, it was pretty good Okay. Although I haven't seen devil's advocate, I've only seen one clip from've seen it on tiktok it's, it's, it's good, it's it's Al Pacino being Al Pacino. I've only seen a.

Eric: 51:40

Reeves being Keanu.

Matt: 51:41

Reeves, I've only seen the clip on the subway where the guy like threatens him with a box cutter and he's like, yeah, and he talks in Spanish, and he's like your wife's fucking that guy yeah, that's the only clip I've seen in terms of Al Pacino movies that you haven't seen. That is a crime, is I believe, you still haven't seen heat, isn't that right? Still have not seen? Heat is so good and now they're making a second one for some reason, because that contains the famous hot what is it just called hot? What.

Eric: 52:13

Is it just called hot?

Matt: 52:14

No, it's called heat too, but it does contain the famous Al Pacino quote of she's got a great ass. Anyway, all right, I'm two for two. Baby. Two for two, you're doing great man.

Eric: 52:32

I was at the I'm sweating going to this third one. I was right at the edge.

Matt: 52:35

I about to fall, father, god, I saw it had I said father of the bride, when the answer was scarface I would have to go to the hoover dam only to jump off of it you, I I also know.

Eric: 52:46

It's like man the second.

Matt: 52:48

I tell him he's gonna be devastated, I'm gonna take I'm gonna take this, this rocks glass I have, and shove it in my eye.

Eric: 52:54

I was so torn I knew if something was going to give it away. It was either going to be because these were also the hints it was either going to be the Cuban line or the original 1930s. Yeah, the Scarface was yes, yes.

Matt: 53:08

About Al Capone, about something about actual Scarface and about something totally different. But yes, there is technically a movie called Scarface.

Eric: 53:16

The 80s was a wonderful time. They were just like fuck it we ball.

Matt: 53:20

It's not so much an original, as there's another movie called Scarface that came out in the 30s Yep. All right, eric, one more.

Eric: 53:30

Okay. Third movie yeah. First review. One question why the heck is this movie PG? Like with dude, kids can watch this movie like what this movie should be? Pg-13. Not PPG, not for kids. It will give them nightmares. What's wrong with you guys? It's not for kids. It's for teenagers, young adults, not for kids, okay.

Matt: 53:56

I'll stop man. Okay, and there were hints in there. Huh, yeah, okay, okay.

Eric: 54:00

Review number two yeah, this movie relies on kids getting nightmares, getting eaten by fake animals and blood everywhere. This is not a good movie for kids. It's not good for the environment. Okay, review number three yeah, I don't like the fact that poor Pippet dies from Bruce. The movie was ruined just by that and I never even watched it and still know. Look it up. Angry, frowny face.

Matt: 54:26

Okay, I have another guess. I feel like the third one gives it away. Did it Fuck?

Eric: 54:38

And I took a while for the second one, jaws finally, I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

Matt: 54:40

Ah yeah, everybody knows, bruce is the name of this shark and you know what?

Eric: 54:44

I should have. I was so torn because I kept it because I thought it would make it more confusing. But I was like because I don't think pip, because I, weirdly enough, knew the dog's name was Pippet.

Matt: 54:54

I did not know who Pippet was Pippet was the guy's dog that goes in the water and doesn't come back, and he's like Pippet, when you think about because I thought about that I was like this is going to be some classic movie that I haven't seen and everyone's going to be like you like you don't know, pippet.

Eric: 55:16

But yeah, man, as soon as you said bruce, I was like how can it not be, joss? I was hoping that would throw you. Okay, three for three. I need to step up underestimate me, eric.

Matt: 55:22

Okay, I had a bad first round, I know, but still I hit.

Eric: 55:26

I went hard mode originally and then I, and now I know I'm like, okay, I'm feeling, I'm okay.

Matt: 55:32

You're settling.

Eric: 55:33

I'm sensing the confines of this battle arena.

Matt: 55:39

The sphere, the spectrum, the spectrum. Ooh, ooh, I'm going to have you dialed in.

Eric: 55:44

Okay, so I got to, so we are now.

Matt: 55:48

So the live score after a round and a half is four to two. Me, yeah. So to keep pace with what we had, you need a perfect round.

Eric: 56:00

I need a perfect round to keep parody. I need to get two out of three. You need to get two out of three. Oh man, I'm scared.

Matt: 56:06

I think, Eric, we're. We're only halfway through the second round and I already feel like we have, we are headed towards a real showdown of a final round.

Eric: 56:18

Let's all go to the movies. Let's all go to the movies.

Matt: 56:26

Yeah, but Eric, you know that it's let's all go to the lobby. Let's all go to the lobby Shut up.

Eric: 56:40

See, there it is in action, did you?

Matt: 56:41

see how good that is. How fucking dare you speak to me that way? I'm just following the recommendations you are. Let me remind you who's the buoy here. Okay?

Eric: 56:49

I? I'm sorry, I need to go treat myself.

Matt: 56:54

God made you in the image of a buoy. And it's not my fault. It's not my fault, oh man. Okay, so while we continue to try to find land in this episode, that is going to be it, that's going to do it. That's going to do it. It, I think, for this episode and man poach we are barreling towards episode 100. That is very exciting, but, uh, we gotta get through this. This, this round of google gripes first 100.

Matt: 57:28

We do yeah yeah, yeah, yeah absolutely, and right now we are scheduled to end this round in episode 99, which honestly feels appropriate somehow. Yeah, I don't know why, but it does. It just feels nice. It just feels nice, it feels nice. Now listen if you have a question that you would like to be answered on this show.

Eric: 57:51

Babies. You have so many avenues.

Matt: 57:53

So many avenues in which to do it. You can email us at you didn't ask for this gmailcom. That's all spelled out. Or find us on various social media at you didn't ask pod. That's the letter. You didn't ask pod on instagram, twitter, facebook and tiktok. We've been putting out some videos on the tiktok trending, each one doing better than the last, I have to say I, I look like more of a thought in every single one you look more of a what please tell me you more of a.

Matt: 58:23

You know what the word thought means oh, I see what I was like, have I?

Eric: 58:29

been making a joke for the entire show. I thought.

Matt: 58:34

You said I thought, just like with the thought line. I thought you were saying um thought.

Eric: 58:42

I look like a thought and I was like what the fuck you look like a thought you look like a proper fault. You're just three bubbles floating in the air.

Matt: 58:51

There's nothing to you yes, but you can leave us a voicemail on our dedicated thought line that's 410-929-5329. Leave us a voicemail today and we will in all likelihood, play it on the show, unless, of course, you say something terribly offensive. Yeah.

Eric: 59:10

Oh, also worth knowing just a little bit of housekeeping when it comes to submitting questions, because this is a question I've gotten from a few people now. Oh, also worth knowing just a little bit of housekeeping when it comes to submitting questions, because this is a question I've gotten from a few people now. Oh, ok, a question I get a lot is I'll tell people I'm like, ok, you can give us a question Instagram, email, like fucking any anywhere and I keep getting the same question, which is, yeah, but like, what's the best one to use? They're all the best one.

Matt: 59:47

Like there is no wrong answer. Whatever one is easiest for you to use. Matt checks them religiously. Keep it short and sweet. You probably want to put it in like an Instagram message or something like that, if you want to write out your thesis to us. You didn't ask for this at gmailcom, baby yeah.

Eric: 1:00:05

Yeah, there we go.

Matt: 1:00:07

And again, doesn't need to be questions, it can be whatever you want Correct, you can try to correct us, you can try, you can try. So I think those are the ways to contact us. You know what to do. That's the business. Eric, did we miss anything? Matt, you gave him the business. So I think from all of us here that you didn't ask for this. My name? Oh, that's matt shea. Oh, me.

Eric: 1:00:32

I'm eric poach and listen. You didn't ask but what's your favorite jaws quote? Don't pick one of the famous ones. What's your favorite jaw quote?

Matt: 1:00:42

I favorite jaws quote.

Eric: 1:00:43

Okay, I do think it moves, honestly okay, it's a little overton window of jaws quote, I think it moves quite a bit.

Matt: 1:00:53

I am these days quite fond of black age like a doll.

Eric: 1:01:01

Basically, anything Quint says is my favorite is is just instinct quote, but I also do love deeply, deeply love the, the.

Matt: 1:01:12

The show me with the way to go home scene.

Eric: 1:01:15

So the whole show me the way to go home. Scene uh, yeah, so the whole. Show me the way to go home song is well, cinematic perfection my favorite growing up my favorite this was the running joke in my family uh, there was a, there was a. There was a crab place in ocean city that we would go to still there, I believe called hoopers.

Eric: 1:01:31

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know we would go to hoopers and my dad would just incessantly quote hooper hooper, not hooper hooper, and it just became any time I was doing a chore and he wanted me to hurry up his tie, the knot, hooper hooper and I do.

Matt: 1:01:51

That's really funny. I do. I am also partial. It is one of the famous ones, but I am partial. To smile you, son of a bitch.

Eric: 1:01:58

Oh, it's good, my, my favorite, neat. This is a very niche quote, I feel. Give me the niche quote, give me the it's, it's when, it's when. Fucking brody is like it's the end of the day, he's, he's sitting, he's sitting at the table. He just did like the thing with his kid where they're doing a little imitation game.

Matt: 1:02:17

And it's one of my favorite scenes in all of film. Yeah.

Eric: 1:02:20

But then he leans in and he says give us a kiss. And then the kid's like why, Cause I need it. It's so, it's just so it's ultimate dad energy, because I need it, it's so good.