Eric: 0:00

There are moments in life that you can't write, and one of those moments happened to me recently. Okay, alyssa and I went on a lovely adventure to North Point State Park. Oh, very nice. It's like five minutes down the road from us. Never been there before Beautiful.

Matt: 0:21

Oh yeah, really it's very nice. I was going to say you live right there, yeah.

Eric: 0:25

Got to explore the, the, the, the paths, got to see like, the ruins of, like the old amusement park that was built there in the 1900s, which had a trolley running to it from Baltimore, that my great grandfather was a trolley operator on. Whoa, yeah, a little bit of a little bit of history there Connection. But we were, we had just finished our walk and, matt, we were doing this loop where you walk the forest path and then it spits you out onto the main road and then you just walk up the main road back to the parking lot, if that's where you want to go and that's where we wanted to go. So Alyssa and I were walking down this road and we see a bench and it's just like a little secluded bench in the middle of the woods, just on this road. Yeah, matt, I'm gonna, I'm just wanna. I just want to show you, matt.

Matt: 1:12

I'm sending you pictures on facebook oh, you're sending me pictures on facebook yeah, I'm sending you pictures on facebook okay, because you have an android and you can't just text me normally. No, you know, okay. So I see the picture of the bench.

Eric: 1:24

Yeah, and just go through them in order. Yeah, I'm good, I'm just sending these to you so you could see close-up of the bench Bench from a few feet away.

Matt: 1:33

Yeah, it's in the middle of. To paint the picture for the audience at home, it's this what looks to me low back bench. Yes, Only two two-by-fours there as the backing, and as you back away from it, it looks like it is in the middle of truly nowhere. It's a street without even so much as a center line.

Eric: 2:00

It is. It was so nothing around us.

Matt: 2:03

There's a sign that says slow, no parking or stopping on grass shoulder, and it should be. I can't stress enough there's almost nothing but grass shoulder in this photograph. Yes, yes, we'll put this on the Instagram as well.

Eric: 2:19

So no, so like, truly, it was just us, and that's why we saw the bench. It was nice, it was quiet, we sat down on the bench and, matt, you know I'm a red-blooded American, aren't you? I have an absolute Betty of a girlfriend. So we're sitting on this bench and you know the mood takes us. Okay, we're completely isolated, yeah, and I go in, I lean in for a little smooch, sure, just just a little, just a quick little makeout session in the woods. Got to, got to, matt.

Eric: 2:54

Not two seconds after our lips touched, an old man appears out of nowhere running with his dog and he says get a room, oh my, this dog. And he says get a room, oh my, I could not have I. That man waited, he, he fucking and and he was laughing his ass off. We were laughing our asses. It was the funniest shit that's ever happened to me, because the timing was. I even like, I even looked like both ways down the road. Nothing, what, like you're 15? He was so goddamn proud of himself, oh my God so funny he should have been Wow, eric.

Matt: 3:40

Yeah, what a little anecdote. I know Is that that's, that's it, that's really it.

Eric: 3:46

In and out, in and out, quick and done, just prepping. Man, I'm so proud of you. That's a real cold open. Yeah, buddy, that's my fucking cow.

Matt: 4:16

That's my pressing questions. My name's Matt Shea, my name's Eric Poach, and joining us today we have a very, very special guest. He's one of Eric and I's dear, dear friends. Yes, we both performed with him on stage back in the olden days at Towson University, towson.

Matthew August Jeffers: 4:35

The golden days.

Matt: 4:36

The olden golden days. That's absolutely right, but these days you can see him in such shows as the Marvelous Mrs Maisel, the Walking Dead, the Ones who Live New Amsterdam and, until very recently, he just wrapped up performing in An Enemy of the People on Broadway, which was nominated for multiple Tony Awards. Jeremy Strong, Michael Imperioli and a host of other incredible actors and artists working on the show. It's Matthew August Jeffers. Welcome to the show, Matthew Jeffers. Thank you.

Matthew August Jeffers: 5:11

It's so thrilling to be here and to be reunited with some very fine, fond gentlemen.

Matt: 5:17

Oh, you're too kind, you're too kind. And thank you finally for correcting the Matt to Eric ratio on this.

Matthew August Jeffers: 5:25

It's about. I figured it was about time, right.

Eric: 5:28

I am besieged by Matt. Yes.

Matthew August Jeffers: 5:32

You're you're besieged and a half by Matt. It was like a one full besiege and there's a half besiege.

Eric: 5:40

You got to look out for.

Matthew August Jeffers: 5:42

I was watching. I was watching the Tony's last night and I was I was thinking about my time as a seat filler for the tony awards and it dawned on me I it was probably out seven or eight years ago. I did a couple of years seat filling and it dawned on me what a horrible job that was for me because I only filled up half the seat. It's like I did it. I did it two years and I was never called back.

Matt: 6:07

And I now I I realize why, you know, all these years later we were, lindsey and I were watching the tonys last night as well and I was wondering if you were there, and I had texted you about this recording earlier in the day. I was like I should have asked him if he was there, but I don't want to ask him now I, we.

Matthew August Jeffers: 6:22

So we had a watch party with the company watch party and then jeremy had a very beautiful after party and that tony is very heavy. I I yanked it from his, from his hands, and I it was it's like probably 10 pounds. It's heavy, holy shit that's excessive but maybe. But. But it felt I'm weak, so it just it was heavy for me nonsense, I won't I like to think throughout the night, you would just keep stealing the time like

Matthew August Jeffers: 6:52

running off with it. And then jeremy loves that kind of stuff. When I do that to him, yeah, I'm sure he strikes me as very fond of the sort of shenanigans yeah, he loves a little tag.

Matt: 7:03

You're it he was phenomenal in the show. Lindsay and I were lucky enough to see it a few weeks ago and, of course, you were brilliant. Everyone was brilliant. Jeremy won last night. Congratulations to him. And when we're recording this, you have just five days left to the show, isn't that right?

Matthew August Jeffers: 7:24

It's actually incorrect, matt, get your days in order. We have seven days left Seven days of the show A biblical week. Just unbelievable, egregious mistake.

Matt: 7:36

The level of research I've done, truly is appalling.

Eric: 7:42

On behalf of myself, on behalf of Matthew matthew shane.

Matt: 7:46

You didn't do anything and that and that is why I am culpable.

Eric: 7:51

I just stood by and let this happen yes, we have.

Matthew August Jeffers: 7:55

We have eight shows left. Uh, savoring each, I'm going to savor each one and but I'm also tired, you know. I'm ready for the, ready for a little break, I can imagine, and ready for the next chapter, whatever that is uh, yeah, truly, you have had such an incredible journey since taliesin.

Eric: 8:15

You you have. Yeah, you're like you. You give the rest of us hope, man I, I I've been very fortunate recently.

Matthew August Jeffers: 8:25

I'm, I I've worked with a lot of people that I literally look up to, um and uh, I'm. I'm excited to continue to, to uh, to be part of really cool projects and get to share the, the good word hell, yes, yeah, very nice.

Matt: 8:42

Yeah, man, we're just I mean I think I speak for for everyone in our class and in general cohort from from towson but uh, I mean we're just so proud of you and happy for everything that's come your way, man, it's so well deserved oh so, so well deserved.

Eric: 8:59

when I was I was telling my partner about this, this episode coming up, I was like, oh, oh, yeah, it's, it's Matt Jeffers, and you know she remembers you from um elephant's graveyard and all that stuff. And I was like yeah, I was like none like of of all of us who like if anyone was going to make it.

Matthew August Jeffers: 9:39

I am least surprised it was, jeffers, just because you have always been so In the projects that I've been a part of. Elephant's Graveyard is still top three, for it was the first moment. That is exceedingly rare when you have a really talented director, a really great script, a very talented cast and peripheral artists that help imbue that story and everything clicks and that is just it. When it does, it is, it's mad, it's closer to magic than anything else and uh, and that's what happened. I think we both agree that's what happened on that show. And here, it was.

Matthew August Jeffers: 10:19

It was we. We were not making college theater, we were making something that was beyond that.

Matt: 10:25

I really do agree with you there. I think about that production a lot and you know, I think this speaks to a greater concept in theater, where it doesn't need to necessarily be professional or community or college, like it doesn't really matter. When, like a great production happens, the cast feels it, the audience feels it, like it's a magic moment.

Matthew August Jeffers: 10:50

And that was one of those shows and I and I still haven't I have yet to find another group of castmates that will agree to take a a shirtless photograph of of us in the dressing room, all of us in our circa 1920s suspenders and tariff haunting haunting photograph don't you worry, audience.

Matt: 11:13

We're putting that on our instagram.

Matthew August Jeffers: 11:15

Uh, oh that's going straight on instagram with a lot and it's one of my favorite photos and when, when you attach that photograph, also attach the song that we would warm up to oh how she dances. In that rehearsal room how she dances. I still every now and then.

Eric: 11:35

I'll get a fucking itch for it Every now and then. I'll just need it and I'll play it in the car.

Matt: 11:40

Every now and then it calls to me and I play it. Yes.

Eric: 11:43

It calls God what a good show and you, you would just go out there every night and you would kill it. You would kill it, but you had you. You've always had such a gift for this depth of sincerity and just like, oh you, you would make an audience sob every fucking night. You would break their hearts with how beautiful your story and mine. Yes, yes, oh my.

Matt: 12:09

God.

Matthew August Jeffers: 12:10

Well, that's my job is to break your heart, man, yeah.

Matt: 12:14

And you do it so well. Well, that was. You know, that was a very serious and deep conversation, and I think we should go ahead and ruin it by talking about some nonsense. Yeah, let's do it. So, jeffers, you know what we do here. We answer life's least pressing questions, and rumor has it that you brought some with you.

Matthew August Jeffers: 12:35

A few and a few sub questions. Oh God, I love a sub question, isn't that sweet?

Matt: 12:42

So let's, let's hear the options. What, what? Let's explore the space so how?

Matthew August Jeffers: 12:46

how would you like? Do you want me to list the questions or go one by one? What do you prefer, my dear?

Matt: 12:51

sweet, let's list the questions, and because we might not get to all of them, okay so I'll go down the list.

Matthew August Jeffers: 12:57

Yeah, go down the list, all right, all right, and then also if, if, um, well, I'll do the I'll, I'll list the questions and then, if you want some more, I have some backup questions that I have in my brain. Wow, very prepared, so okay, here's the first one yeah given that last night was the tony awards right, I thought that the first question would be appropriate what would your award be called and what would it be for?

Matt: 13:25

oh, that's good like, not like the way the tony's are the tony's and the oscars of the oscars. Yeah, like what are the poaches? Yeah?

Matthew August Jeffers: 13:33

yeah, like, what are the? What are the? What's the name of the award and what is that award for? Yep, um well, that's got legs. The second question. The second question is what kind of and I don't know this might be a little R-rated, but what kind of Matt's secretions is the closest to shea butter?

Matt: 13:51

Excuse me.

Eric: 13:54

Which of Matt's secretions is the closest to shea butter? I will talk about this until I die.

Matthew August Jeffers: 14:01

It could be like sweat or, you know, oil yeah.

Eric: 14:04

Oh.

Matt: 14:04

I know what it could be sweat, or, you know, oil, yeah, oh, I know what it could be.

Matthew August Jeffers: 14:07

yeah, so, uh, so the next question is um, you know, taylor swift just came out with her uh, seven thousandth album and I thought in the spirit of that, um, there's, there's a great lyric from one of her songs. She says all my friends smell like weed or babies and as a 32 year old, that really, yes, really, strikes home for me, given my current did strike home for me as well. Yeah, so if you could only smell one for the rest of your life, which one would you smell?

Matthew August Jeffers: 14:41

oh okay, very nice, erica says and here's the sub question, here's the sub question for that. Oh, okay why do people say they slept like a baby, when babies wake up like 10 times an hour?

Matt: 14:55

that's an excellent question.

Matthew August Jeffers: 14:56

That's a good question okay the penultimate question, which is actually apropos, given the question itself what happened to the number one pencil?

Matt: 15:10

understood the assignment god he understood the assignment and then the final question.

Matthew August Jeffers: 15:15

This is and I hope we do this because this is my personal I'm most curious about this I should say who, given that in just a few weeks, the tour de france will commence. Who would win the tour de france? Matt or eric?

Matt: 15:31

okay, oh well, hold on. If that's your favorite, we're definitely gonna stop, I'm curious, like you know, unsupported tour de france, which?

Matthew August Jeffers: 15:43

who is the favorite and why so? Those are the questions, those are there's, there's, that's, that's my well eric, eric, what I love, all of them.

Matt: 15:50

What speaks to you, eric?

Eric: 15:51

hey, let's, let's, let's, let's address the tour de france in the room. Yeah, the tour de room so let's go over our stats. Uh, I broke into a sweat coming up the stairs today, uh, uh, I do have very long legs. I don't know if that helps me in the tour de france or if that's more energy I have, like I don't. I'm a gangly motherfucker, matt, what do you got going for you?

Matt: 16:19

um, now I I will say that I, I I haven't been on a bike recently, but I have biked the entirety of the CNO bike trail that runs from Maryland to Ohio, three separate times.

Eric: 16:36

Now, when you say recently, talk to me about that.

Matt: 16:42

Last few years although Lindsay and I are have, now that we live in sub suburbia uh, we have been saying we should get bikes. But yeah, no, in my eagle scout days I did uh bike the cno canal um, which runs from the chesapeake and ohio canal um bike trail, uh, three separate times over the course of several years, as in Scouts, so I have some long-distant biking experience.

Matthew August Jeffers: 17:08

Do we have the mileage on that?

Matt: 17:11

I think it's something like 180 total 780?. No 180. Oh 180. You know bike trail mileage. I'm looking for you right now 184.5 miles.

Matthew August Jeffers: 17:31

Okay, and poach, have you ridden?

Eric: 17:32

have you ridden a? Bike before do you know how to ride a biker, so I do know how to ride a bike. Uh, I've ridden many, many a bike. I, how many, how many wheels how many? Uh two, okay, okay, just check uh, but uh, so I'll have you know that you know, circa 15 years ago, I biked the length of the baltimore annapolis bike trail, which is a whopping 13.3 miles.

Matt: 17:58

I will have you know, hey, that's not nothing, and that's that's more recent than me, and I only needed a ride home once I got to the end.

Eric: 18:06

Oh so I think it's not a question of who wins.

Matthew August Jeffers: 18:11

It's to what degree does matt destroy me in the now, if but also but wait two of us what one quite the other, the other jigging this chain, is. It's also a survivalist. So it's who is the better survivalist? Who is the better camper? Who can forage for berries and little tiny rabbits?

Eric: 18:33

who indeed?

Matthew August Jeffers: 18:34

eric who indeed, eric has the skills who's the best rabbit catcher of the group?

Matt: 18:43

Okay, I've never caught a rabbit, although I have plenty right outside my window. That's not even a lie. They literally live right outside this window.

Eric: 18:50

He basically has, like the meadow from Bambi outside of his window.

Matt: 18:55

True, I mean, it's not incorrect. Yeah, I think. But if we were to be realistic, if we were to enter the realm of reality, the Tour de France, I don't think, eric, I don't think either Eric or I have, uh, the tour de France body, oh, yeah, well, you got to give me a couple of weeks to get back into tour de France shape Absolutely. So I think there'd be the tour de France proper, and then there'd just be a tour de French fry.

Matthew August Jeffers: 19:22

Maybe the tour de French.

Matt: 19:23

Fry, maybe the Tour de French Fry. The Tour de French Fry, it's just on the Ocean City boardwalk.

Eric: 19:29

We start at one end. It's the first to get to Thrashers.

Matthew August Jeffers: 19:32

Which Ocean City, new Jersey, maryland.

Matt: 19:36

Actually we're going to do them both because it's a tour. So we're going boardwalk to boardwalk, boardwalk. Then we got to go to Atlantic City and Margate.

Matthew August Jeffers: 19:46

Wildwood, we're going up boardwalk to boardwalk, boardwalk then. Then we got to go to atlantic city and yes, absolutely asbury park.

Matt: 19:52

You know we're gonna. We gotta hit everybody up and down the east coast trying boardwalk fries yeah, say hi to bruce at asbury park got two oh yeah, yeah.

Eric: 20:04

So I think, maybe that's better suited for you to 100 percent, in which case it'd be a dead heat, in that I would die of heat stroke, oh man. But now it's like we ever wanted to do like a charity thing. Now we have to do the tour to french fries the tour to french.

Matthew August Jeffers: 20:27

Well you get it.

Eric: 20:28

It's just you and me. We get people to sponsor the two of us yes, we're in people oh man, people stand on the side, but instead of holding cups of water, it is cups of french fries. It's just okay. I need salt, I need the electrolytes.

Matt: 20:44

Who put malt on this? So anyway, yeah, so I think who would win the actual one? I think it'd be me.

Eric: 20:54

It would be you.

Matt: 20:56

It would be me, but it would only be between the two of us, as we'd be hundreds of miles behind the pack.

Matthew August Jeffers: 21:02

Yeah, Perhaps thousands. I would say yeah, perhaps.

Matt: 21:06

They're actually, they're in Spain, sorry. I don't know, how they ended up there.

Eric: 21:10

Allow me to correct myself Thousands of kilometers.

Matthew August Jeffers: 21:13

Yes, thousands of kilometers.

Matt: 21:13

Very good, gotta keep a metric, our international listeners are quite pleased that you've included them.

Eric: 21:20

So I think that that is firmly established. Which brings me to because I love Jeffers questions, I want to make sure we get to them. Yeah, let's the Tony's. So, we had? If we had an award named after us, what would it be for the poaches, the shays, I think?

Matt: 21:40

Eric, yours.

Eric: 21:41

Oh good, let's do each other.

Matt: 21:42

You've lived such an eccentric life. You have so varied interests that there's many directions you could go. You could go a Ren Faire route. You could go a D&D route. Oh, can I Go an acting route? Can?

Eric: 21:58

I pitch you this one Tell me. The poach is for furthest career advancement with a theater degree that has nothing to do with theater. Because I'm currently an engineer. Yes, with a theater degree. Yes, like an award that goes out Like hey, did you get a theater degree. But also, to be clear, I use my theater degree Every single day.

Matt: 22:26

Well sure, in that regard, but you also do perform. Don't sell yourself short, my friend.

Eric: 22:31

Oh, yes, no, I perform, but I feel like the mileage I've gotten without going the distance.

Matt: 22:38

Distance per bullshitting. Yes, yes, bullshitting distance, that is how far one can bullshit their way into a career, exactly Because God damn did I?

Eric: 22:50

I mean, hey, same, my job consists of like 90% of my job is just convincing people that I know what I'm talking about.

Matt: 23:00

Yeah, sure, I mean that's a lot of people's jobs.

Eric: 23:03

Yeah, it's kind of terrifying in that way. Once you realize that, all right.

Matt: 23:08

Well, I can co-sign that. What would be the Shays? Oh the Shays.

Eric: 23:12

Oh, are you curious? I am, I Ooh Ooh.

Matthew August Jeffers: 23:16

Longest held grudge yeah, it could be an annual annual award ceremony like long distance grudging well we're not just talking about one like lifetime achievement, no, no, they have.

Matt: 23:28

So there has to, but, but but you're on to it like top grudges of the year, grudge of the year um, best passive-aggressive performance, uh, like. These are some of the categories that you're introducing.

Matthew August Jeffers: 23:44

Best breakthrough comeback or something like that.

Eric: 23:47

Oh, so the Shays could be a whole domain of salty awards.

Matt: 23:52

Absolutely yeah, you need a whole night. You're gonna need a whole night.

Matthew August Jeffers: 23:55

Best breakthrough argument.

Matt: 23:57

Best pithy response to a valet driver. I don't know why that came to.

Eric: 24:07

Could there be best award for a comeback thought up in the shower hours after the exchange?

Matt: 24:11

yes, oh, my god, eric, that you've hit the sweet spot because, let me tell you, the namesake of the shays is so good at that, so good am I at coming up with clinchers yeah, years in a shower years after the argument then, then it would be like then it could be called the costanza, right from the the comeback episode absolutely of seinfeld excellent poll thanks, thanks, thanks matt, thanks matt and well, I, I want, we've got to include everybody. What would the jeffers be? Oh yeah, jeffers.

Eric: 24:49

Yeah, what would your award be?

Matt: 24:50

oh gosh um, he's gonna be deep with it, I can tell here it comes.

Matthew August Jeffers: 24:56

Oh man, he's gonna say something no, I think, uh, what would the jeffers, the jeffers award?

Matt: 25:02

um would be, oh I I will say, of the three names, you have the best award name probably called the jeffy colloquially no, I don't think so.

Matthew August Jeffers: 25:12

I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm actually partial to the poaches thank you thank you I think, I'm drawn to that. That's the, it's the p, it's the po, po like. It's the po, you know it's like yeah I think, draws you.

Matthew August Jeffers: 25:26

I think you know I I spent a lot of time with my father recently and I realize, um, how many words he missed, just mispronounces, like just barely mispronounces. You know, as as our fathers get into middle and older age, it's like everything I he just has a way of just slightly mispronouncing pretty much every word. Um, and so I I think that maybe the jeffers could be like like the most consistent mispronunciation over the course of the year, or something it's just like a clip show of someone saying words throughout the year and we just that's.

Matthew August Jeffers: 26:05

That's what we do or or like the most, or like the most words mispronounced over the year, something like that that could be cool, most, most creative mispronunciation most creative. Most unhinged mispronunciation unhinged mispronunciation Most unhinged creative unintentional.

Eric: 26:22

Unintentional is key.

Matt: 26:23

Well, unintentional is key.

Eric: 26:27

This year the irregardlessly goes to that's funny.

Matt: 26:35

Well done, Eric. The Lifetime Achievement Award I would come.

Eric: 26:39

If I won that award, jeffers, if I won that award, jeffers, if I won that award, I would come up and I would just be like I truly, I am honored. Yes, beyond all. Exactly, you gotta hit them with it, I am honored, I am honored.

Matt: 26:54

Behind a shadow of a doubt.

Eric: 26:57

I thought I was a diamond dozen.

Matthew August Jeffers: 26:59

And it's a doggy dog world out there I think you already won the difference yes, by saying things.

Matt: 27:11

Well, uh, you don't understand and I think for, I think for for visual uh effects.

Matthew August Jeffers: 27:19

I would, I would present that award to you because the height difference would be so like just a visual, almost like a visual mispronunciation. You know it's like it's I do a visual mispronunciation I am.

Eric: 27:35

So I am so glad you brought that, because I hope you know exactly what story I'm going. I'm about to tell. But do you remember the day we met Jeffers? It's going, it's yeah, tell me refresh, so no worry, but this is Matt constantly has like. This is so weird. I'm in Matt's position for once, Cause normally he has to explain to me things that I said a week ago.

Matt: 27:56

I've literally sat back from the mic to enjoy this. Go on.

Eric: 28:00

No, it was the first day, so it was freshman orientation at Towson. We are all introducing ourselves. I'm a sophomore, jeffers is a freshman. I'm introducing myself. We're exchanging some pleasantries and a dear friend of ours, who will go unnamed but who listens to this podcast.

Matt: 28:21

So they'll be named in their own head.

Eric: 28:23

Yes, Runs up to me and Jeffers and, mind you, jeffers has known me for all of two minutes, you remember, and has never talked to this other person before. And this other person looks at Jeffers, says I'm so sorry. He's like like, do you take any offense to mentions of your, of your height and jeffers, an, an absolute angel of tact and class, is like no, no, no. That's. Looks between us and says you two need to hang out all the time and just sprints away into the end, just leaves me and jeffers with holding the most awkward fucking conversational lull god I didn't know I I don't think I was there for that, that wonderful meeting, which surprises me because I would have been, matt, your orientation leader.

Matt: 29:21

Yes, as I was, for all three classes of the incoming theater freshman that came after me. Yep, what I'm saying is I feel a great deal of responsibility for your career trajectory.

Matthew August Jeffers: 29:37

Yes, I concur.

Matt: 29:39

I set you on a path by explaining to you how credits work. Um thank you.

Matthew August Jeffers: 29:47

Thank you for that you're welcome I apologize um.

Matt: 29:52

Okay, so let's. Let's hit another question, eric. Yes, what, what, what speaks to you from the list?

Eric: 29:58

um, let's see. So we've talked about, we've talked about our last name awards. We We've talked about the Tour de France.

Matt: 30:03

Oh, French fries. Tour de French fries. Sorry, the Tour de French fries.

Eric: 30:07

I picked the first your turn.

Matt: 30:10

What do we have left? There are three. I think that we still had to choose from.

Matthew August Jeffers: 30:14

There was a pencil question.

Matt: 30:17

There was the.

Matthew August Jeffers: 30:17

Taylor Swift weed and babies Weed and babies.

Eric: 30:23

There was the, the shea butter, which I'm kind of intrigued.

Matthew August Jeffers: 30:25

Oh yeah well that could be like. That could be like the. That could be like the. You didn't ask for this. After hours edition, you know midnight edition because the midnight very well, taylor swift.

Matt: 30:35

Uh, a little cross cross question. Let's address the butter in the room.

Matthew August Jeffers: 30:40

Let's talk about Okay, that's not what I was going to go with but sure go for it, Eric.

Matt: 30:45

Oh no, or is it just me talking about my own? What was the word Secretions, Secretion?

Matthew August Jeffers: 30:51

Sebum secretion, whatever you want.

Eric: 30:54

Which of your secretions most closely matches the consistency of shea butter?

Matt: 31:04

There is literally no way I can answer this question in a non-disgusting way just get lindsey in here, none get dr get your wife a doctor. I am not gonna summon my wife to ask her which of my secretions is the most like Shea.

Eric: 31:20

I would pay any amount of money just to see her face when you ask.

Matt: 31:25

Well, I'm not going to um, I don't want her to. I don't know. Again, I don't know how you say anything other than the answer you know what I'm saying.

Eric: 31:35

Jeffers, this is when we get to ask the most invasive questions of my cohost, Matt. Where do you sweat the?

Matt: 31:39

most? Oh, that's a good question. I do my. The genesis of my sweat is generally my back I I'm a back sweater primarily back sweats yeah, that's where it begins, lower back that's where it begins. But yeah, I mean, I'm very sweaty and you two have both performed with me. You know that I'm a very sweaty performer you're sweating right now.

Matt: 32:02

Yeah right, that's very much um, yeah, absolutely, and this is just from a fucking ring light, uh, so so, yeah, you put real stuff on me. It's crazy 39 steps that I did in the fall. Um eric, uh, I can attest to this.

Matt: 32:20

I was in this three-piece suit for when I was a certain role and running around and doing all this physical stuff, and I was just just bursting which honestly just made it funnier the whole time because we could see how much of a sprint this was for you during during tech, the director was like we need to get matt like a hanky that he can just have in his pocket to to clean up from time to time like, but like one of those clown that just keeps going because he's gonna need every mile of it exactly.

Eric: 32:52

Um, that would have been funny actually.

Matt: 32:57

Um so if you had to give me like a like a geographical location on your body yeah, it's probably come. So, number one pencil, number one the number one pencil the number one pencil.

Eric: 33:10

We'll never speak of that last question again what happened to the number one. I think the number one pencil me personally. I imagine a journey similar to Lucifer Morningstar, Paradise Lost. I feel like that was like number one. Pencil was like the prodigal son.

Matt: 33:31

You don't think it was just like the prototype? That didn't make it?

Eric: 33:35

I think it was too good. I think they got scared of what they created.

Matt: 33:41

Oh, like an Oppenheimer type situation.

Eric: 33:43

Yes. Just imagine Cillian Murphy was like. We have a theory that if we were to Write with this pencil, sorry, cillian Murphy as Oppenheimer.

Matt: 33:58

Yeah, no, I got that. Thank you, eric. Very, very well done.

Eric: 34:02

It was just the face you were giving me.

Matt: 34:04

It looks like you had notes. I was just searching for Killian. You know, I was just looking for him in there Listen let's not go down the Herzog Avenue no no. No, I think you might be on to it, but how does a pencil become so great, so powerful that it needed to be curbed?

Matthew August Jeffers: 34:30

Maybe it became a pen. It became a pen it became a pen.

Eric: 34:34

What do you think?

Matthew August Jeffers: 34:35

pens are Wake up sheeple.

Eric: 34:38

They're number one pencils. I'm just going to start. At any time I need someone to hand me a pen. I was like, could you hand me a number one pencil? That is now a bit in my life and no one probably outside of this conversation will ever get a chuckle out of it. But as long as the three of us find it funny, that's all that matters I am finding results on office depot and other places for a number one pencil.

Eric: 35:02

Don't ruin my dreams with your facts. They have number one pencils to buy Well yeah, if you care to learn In this day and age.

Matt: 35:12

I'm also getting lots of like, a mental floss article of like are there number one pencils? And indeed there are pencil makers. Make number one, number two, number three, number five, number four oh my gosh oh my god.

Eric: 35:24

So here's my. I don't know, I don't know the difference so here's my sort of question within the question tell me, you know, we, we, we pick up our number two pencils to take a test. That is the, the classic scantron yeah scantron. What have you? What do we use the number one pencils for?

Matt: 35:43

Okay, I have a little bit of a fact. According to Google, this is very quick, very rushed research. Number one pencil, B grade, higher in graphite, softer prone to smudging and ideal for artistic or bold writing, whereas a number two pencil is a balanced mix of graphite and clay, offering versatility for writing and drawing, making a popular choice for schools and offices.

Matthew August Jeffers: 36:08

I didn't know that I also, just I, I want to throw in this really quick bit. I do the new york times mini crossword, because the regular crossword is too scary for me, sure, and this morning, just this morning, one of the uh questions, one of the words was lead, and it was what is the mixture of graphite and clay? And that is. This is a full circle moment.

Matt: 36:41

I'm happy to have provided a service to both you and the listener. Thank you, by Googling.

Matthew August Jeffers: 36:48

So number one was too much of an artist. It was too expressionistic.

Eric: 36:53

It was a dreamer pencil. It couldn't be trusted with business. The number one pencil just wanted to frolic and make art and be joyous. The number one pencil just wanted to frolic and make art and be joyous. But the number two pencil? With its judgment of the number one pencil's Cillian Murphy impression.

Matt: 37:09

Just All right, calm down. Okay, you know, don't, don't smudge me Matthew, All right. I'm sorry that I smudged you. I just wanted you to stay in the lines.

Eric: 37:21

The world is in some bubble to be filled out, Matthew.

Matt: 37:24

I feel like we're tapping into an argument you had with your father around age 17. So we've learned some things, both factually and mythologically, about the number one pencil. We've talked about my secretions. Biologically about the number one pencil. We've talked about my secretions. Were there any other questions we have to answer from your docket, Because we also have a couple for you, I believe. Oh God.

Matthew August Jeffers: 37:49

Oh, yes, oh yes, no, wait, really quick, because I am genuinely curious as to what your opinion would be If you had so Taylor Swift swift. Yes, yeah, all my friends smell like weeder babies. If you could all, if you could only smell one scent for the rest of your days, would you rather smell babies or would you rather smell weed?

Eric: 38:13

so here's my answer yeah, um, I would choose the smell of weed because you know I, I've smelled plenty of babies in my life, but I don't even know what weed smells like. So you know I, you know I, I'd be curious, like I just you know I'm a curious cat and I just want to know what that might potentially smell.

Matt: 38:36

We record video now eric, what, what?

Eric: 38:38

the sticky icky, the the, that that skunk that loud, that, that devil's lettuce, the johnny red eye, what it smells like.

Matt: 38:47

I'm just very curious absolutely, I would also go with weed but, but it's gotta be good weed, but it's gotta be good weed.

Eric: 38:54

I'm talking about that primo kush.

Matt: 38:56

I don't want no skunky monkey smell, you know like from.

Eric: 39:00

Maine, give me that gas, true ganja. If I knew what weed smelled like.

Matt: 39:07

If we knew, if we were familiar, if we had that sort of exposure. But we don't, unfortunately.

Eric: 39:15

Yeah, so that's why I say weed, just because.

Matt: 39:19

But that being said, because you like to dream, mr Number One Pencil. I like to dream, you like to dream, and you know we're all theater majors. So like we had no exposure to such drugs, no, we're all.

Matthew August Jeffers: 39:31

Number One Pencils we're all.

Eric: 39:33

Number One Pencils. We're very sheltered beings. Theater kids, we don't do we break easily? We break much. We don't break easily. Well, that's true, God. We are the number one.

Matt: 39:43

I've broken just a few times today.

Matthew August Jeffers: 39:47

We smudge, we're very soft, we don't hold up to the rigors of life Of commerce.

Eric: 39:54

Because that's not what we were made for.

Matt: 40:08

We were made to create bursts and then get lost in a drawer somewhere. Yes, uh, yes indeed. Well, mr jeffers, we've had. We've had a few actors such as ourself on the show at this juncture and poach you have, you've sort of asked the same question of each of them.

Eric: 40:15

So it's my favorite question to ask. Please take it away other actors, because I've you'll never get the same answer. Jeffers, what is the wildest thing that has ever happened at an audition? And this could be something you witnessed, something you experienced, something you were asked or told to do. Doesn't even have to be like insane.

Matthew August Jeffers: 40:36

It could just be like yeah, no, I, oh, uh, my indian food just came. Can I get that? My food from mumbai palace just arrived.

Eric: 40:49

Give me one second hell, yeah, all right, let's let's running bets. What do we think he got? I think I think he's a. I think he's a, I think he's a chicken korma kind of, kind of I.

Matt: 41:00

I was going to go butter chicken, but then again that might be my own personal bias.

Matthew August Jeffers: 41:07

So in 2017, I went vegan.

Matt: 41:09

That's right, I forgot about this detail.

Matthew August Jeffers: 41:15

So I am a loyal bindi masala customer from India, Mostly because every time I don't know if you're you have cooked okra yourself, but uh, every time I have attempted to cook okra myself, I have almost choked to death because of the slime. Ah no, the slime it's. It's an it, it can, it has this like natural slimy yes, sure, yeah matt, looking at, looking at you, matt, thank you um, uh, these very slimy secretion, um I call, we call it shade, but matt you call it yes, as one does um, but I, I I just haven't cracked the okra shea butter code of of getting rid of all that mucusy secretion, and I I almost choke when I cook it myself.

Matthew August Jeffers: 42:03

So I rely on the talented Indian chefs to prepare a beautifully cooked and prepared okra dish.

Matt: 42:12

God, I love okra, it really is. It does sound delicious.

Matthew August Jeffers: 42:17

It is the number one pencil. It is the number one pencil it's the number one pencil of the vegetable kingdom I can't fight you on that

Eric: 42:23

in my opinion absolutely you got to be careful with it or just secrete all over you exactly exactly to answer.

Matthew August Jeffers: 42:28

so, to answer your question without, without taking too much time, uh to to go into the weeds of of my audition history, which is really not that extensive, to be honest. Um, I oh, hold on, give me one sec.

Matt: 42:43

Let me open the door for my Mumbai Palace. We saw this coming, this development.

Matthew August Jeffers: 42:49

Hi, thank you so much. Have a great night. I hope this makes it into the podcast.

Matt: 42:56

By the way, oh, we'll keep it. We'll keep the whole thing.

Eric: 43:00

I was so tempted to start talking to you like morpheus in the matrix, like there's a man with you, with your okra bindi.

Matt: 43:07

There's a man coming, he is okra.

Matthew August Jeffers: 43:09

Do not trust him uh, so, so, so to the audition. Uh, I think, yes, the the memory that surfaces quick, quickest, um, it's probably from 2015, 2016. I I hadn't yet really booked or worked on any professional um theater. I was still kind of trying to scrap scrap my way in the city and I was going out for this. Uh, I don't even. It was this retelling of this Greek epic. I'm blanking on the name, but it was at Columbia University.

Matthew August Jeffers: 43:45

I think it was like a student production and I was called to a callback and we had this really intense workshop. It was movement based. It was probably like 15 of us Really put us through the ringer and at the very end I thought I had presented a compelling case as to why I should be part of the production. And this guy probably looked actually looked a little probably like you, eric, tall, handsome, a bit scraggly. But he looked down at me and he said I just thank you for coming. Can I give you a hug? And I said sure, and I gave him a hug and I did not book the role, but I think that was looking back on it. I think there was an element of infantilization or some kind of exploitation there. I think he was. It wasn't a a respectful comrade hug, it was it felt. Looking back, you know, hindsight being 2020, it felt something more not sinister. What's what's a kind of a medium ground between curious curious voyeuristic something, something something that's like fetish fetishizing something.

Matt: 45:13

Yeah.

Matthew August Jeffers: 45:13

Fetishizing. Fetishizing something like that Fetishizing fetishizing something like that fetish cheese fetishizing, um, and yeah, he fetishized me hard and um and that's why, and that's why I went vegan um hey, I don't blame you takes, oh man, yeah, yeah, that is, that's a weird world out there. It's a weird world out there and it was the same. It happened to be the same guy who introduced us at uh towson, our first day.

Eric: 45:44

It was the same dude. I hope he's listening to that right now, going wait a second I was like you're the guy that introduced us to eric it's so odd, so odd that he involved himself in all these different manners.

Matt: 46:03

Oh man, oh bud.

Eric: 46:05

Oh, that is. Yeah, that is definitely. That goes up on the fridge of weird audition tales. That would definitely.

Matthew August Jeffers: 46:12

Nothing too crazy, but just a little off. You know, just, you know he could know.

Eric: 46:16

He fed a cheese to you god, I'm using that for the rest of my life if we make that the title of the episode.

Matthew August Jeffers: 46:27

It's going to be real awkward when people get to the section um no, it's going to be awkward when they get to the section where we talk about your shea butter we don't need to go back. We don't need to go back, even though once upon a time my Twitter handle was SheaButter69.

Matt: 46:43

Nice. I changed it. I made the mature decision to change it.

Eric: 46:49

You should have sold that, sold the rights. Truly, you could have made a cool $40.

Matthew August Jeffers: 46:54

You could have made a cool $40. When we do the midnight version of this, I will tell you my handle, for when I once made a profile on Adult Friend Finder.

Matt: 47:02

Oh buddy. I think this is it, so you better go ahead and say it.

Matthew August Jeffers: 47:09

That's the midnight edition.

Matt: 47:11

That's off mic podcast.

Eric: 47:13

That's going to be Patreon content.

Matt: 47:15

Yeah, well, when we get there.

Matthew August Jeffers: 47:17

They got to earn that story Right Exactly when you're on Patreon.

Matt: 47:22

We'll put it behind a paywall, don't worry.

Matthew August Jeffers: 47:25

Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Eric: 47:31

If anyone's going to feta cheese, our guy it's going to be us.

Matt: 47:45

I apologize for him. Oh, man, man, man. So I am curious about like. So when we saw you, you know, not long ago, we, we were hanging out, we had a lovely conversation with you after the show. Um, you went out and did some stage door autographs and such. And it got me curious about like has there been a moment and it doesn't even need to be during this show, you know you've done Shakespeare in the Park, you've done other stuff has there been, like, any kind of interaction with a future goer that like really stands out as being noteworthy? It doesn't even need to be odd or, you know, creepy or whatever, but like meaningful or anything.

Matt: 48:24

Something that rises above the rest.

Matthew August Jeffers: 48:28

That's a great question.

Matt: 48:30

Is it. Yeah, yes, I feel like I stumbled through it.

Eric: 48:36

It's a very handsome question.

Matthew August Jeffers: 48:41

I think I mean you know I'll keep it in the context of this current show by how many theater goers I have met who have said they have flown to the city to see this show. Internationally, I have met a lot of people who have flown from Italy, ireland, london, seattle, toronto, vancouver and not to combine a New York trip by seeing the show but to see this production, and I think you know there's a couple of reasons for that. I think it speaks to the power of star power, of cult, particularly cult TV star power. You're talking about the Sopranos, you're talking about Succession, henrik Ibsen, I think there are a lot of heavyweights in this production, deceased and currently living that when you put it together, you just attract people who are dedicated to seeing what they hope to see, as who are dedicated to seeing, you know, what they hope to see, as you know, top tier storytelling.

Matthew August Jeffers: 50:02

And it's been really amazing to and conversely I'll say conversely the other side of the cookie of that experience. I have also met elderly people, people in their 60s, 70s, who have said this is my very first play. Like like, this is my first play that I have been to like not even broadway, just like you know, I didn't go.

Matthew August Jeffers: 50:26

I didn't go into the weeds with it. But like they were, like this is my first play and a lot of first broadways, a lot of first broadways.

Matthew August Jeffers: 50:32

But but, also people who are just like really curious to see and to you know, see what what this is about. Today, we it was just uh published that we, this, this production, broke the circle on the square box office record, so it's it's been a, it's been that kind of of a production and uh, and the people at the stage door have been genuine loyal, respectful and celebratory of of this run and I've met some really wonderful people, hell yeah.

Matt: 51:03

And that's interesting about circle in the square and breaking the record. Uh, I mean, that's congratulations, that's great. What struck me is, like I've seen I've seen lots of shows in lots of different Broadway theaters at this point in my life, but this was the first time I had seen anything in Circle in the Square and it's a really cool space. For anyone not familiar, it's in the round arena staging. It's very intimate, it's one of the smaller houses on Broadway and you do this really cool thing where you don't have an intermission. You have this break, this pause, which is like five, 10 minutes and and a bar is being, is giving out shots on stage and I don't know.

Matt: 51:57

There's a camaraderie about it. That seems really unique. And has there been anything? Cause I know you sort of come and go during during that time on stage, but like, and and I think there was some business, you know some some moving of things and setting for the second or for the next scene, things like that but like, has there been moments when the with the audience getting on stage, that like stand out, where, like, because that's a pretty unique experience where, like, like I've done shows where I've gone into the audience and I've gone into the audience and I've done one show on the street for a bus which is a totally different story, but I don't think I've had an experience where the audience like joined me on stage, which is pretty cool.

Matt: 52:52

So I guess the question is just like how has that been like having?

Matthew August Jeffers: 52:56

because it's not only an intimate space, but then the audience is literally like coming into your world this, um, you know these are, these are random people off off from all corners of the world who are coming and then, like you said, sharing intimate space with us and, frankly, I've been very surprised, in a in a positive way, at how supportive and collaborative these audience members have been. They've been supportive and, and but very few over the course of a hundred and now it's like 127 shows. We've done something like that. There have been just a handful of overly enthusiastic I would call them audience members who feel, like you know, it's their moment to make their broadway debut. Um, but uh, overall they've been um, really collaborative and it's a wonderful feeling because we're all clad in 1880s norway costumes and you know we're sitting with people who are in short, shorts and sandals and you know, it's like this beautiful amalgam of of time periods that that come together, and it just fits.

Matthew August Jeffers: 54:16

I will say, though, I will say this, and I hope she doesn't listen to this podcast, but uh, over the course of 127 shows, what happens I'll give you a very brief synopsis of what happens during the show.

Matthew August Jeffers: 54:27

Thomas stockman, jeremy strong. Ultimately, it there's this big build-up of, and ultimately the town turns on Thomas Stockman and buries him in 20, 30 pounds of ice and there's this chaos that ensues on stage. Everyone is screaming at him an enemy of the people, an enemy of the people, and the audience is told to remain seated. There is one audience member, one audience member, over the course of 127 shows, who felt compelled to, in that moment of climactic storytelling and highly choreographed movement with heavy buckets and machinery, felt that they had the liberty to stand up and insert themselves into the scene to try to somehow say no, no, this isn't right, don't do this, don't do this. And it was one of my friends, and so and so.

Matthew August Jeffers: 55:31

After the show, everyone was like that was your friend, like you, she came for you. You didn't prep them in any way. I asked, so I, I asked her, so I asked her. At the end, I asked her, I said you know, cause audience members who go on stage are given instructions of what to do when, sure and I, I said, um, what? What happened? Like did you? We were a little confused. You know, we were a little confused by the directions. She said no, absolutely not. I you're a part of, we're a part of the show on stage and I wasn't going to let them treat Dr Thomas Stockman that way. I looked at her and I was like she was your friends. I didn't want to be terribly rude, but I just said well, that was a choice.

Matt: 56:18

What an actor response to man Perfect the the amount of times I've pulled out. Yeah, that's a choice.

Eric: 56:26

The second you asked what, what happened?

Matt: 56:30

It always opens with what happened.

Eric: 56:32

What happened up there? Stunning, stunning, oh my God, wow. But also a testament to how powerful that shared experience can be like where it takes people up when they get lost in the sauce and they're like I'm in this and then, in retrospect, they're like I was not in that and I should not have been.

Matt: 56:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, yes, it is intimate and they are on stage, but it's not like Sleep no More or something here where you're like literally assisting the actors to do stage business. Oh man, like it's, but wow, that's. I don't know what I'd do. I would really be taking it back. So what happened Like? How'd they resolve that in the performance?

Matthew August Jeffers: 57:20

Well, the first time she got up, the first time. The first time sit down, and she sat back down and then, maybe 30 seconds later, she got back up and uh, and then at that point it had ended and there was a blackout, and then she was directed, instructed, to leave the stage yeah, thrown she just ran out of time. She ran out of time, she ran.

Eric: 57:53

They played her off yeah, a cane.

Matt: 57:56

I came off the wing, something that hasn't been seen since 1933 shepherd's crook told her so I just like to think some ancient stage hand back.

Eric: 58:08

He's like yeah, they told me we'd never need this again. Smashes, smashes, a glass box, but they kept me on just in case, just in case. Brothers, you've done it again.

Matt: 58:21

I told the same thing to Buster Keaton. I knew.

Matthew August Jeffers: 58:24

I'd be here.

Eric: 58:29

Oh man.

Matt: 58:30

Well, matthew August Jeffers, I think we're just you. First of all, have some great okra that's sitting there getting cold.

Eric: 58:39

I smell it, you've earned your okra. Slime-free.

Matt: 58:42

Slime-free okra.

Matthew August Jeffers: 58:43

Yeah, shea butter-free.

Matt: 58:45

Shea butter-free, so I think we won't take any more of your time, but thank you so much for taking some time to spend it, and spending it with us in our nonsense here, even though, and for getting a little serious with us at the end. Oh, we love it. We like to mix it up from time to time.

Matthew August Jeffers: 59:04

Yeah, and to keep in that spirit I know you didn't ask for this, but I will say that getting to share college with you you brought me some of my, uh, most cherished memories of sharing a stage with you Um, some of the best memories of my college career was shared, laughing together and also crying together in some really, really powerful scenes. So I'm so glad, I'm so glad that you're still in my life, Um 10 plus years later, and I look forward to the next podcast.

Matt: 59:38

Oh, matt, that's, so nice.

Eric: 59:41

Make me an ugly cry on my own podcast.

Matt: 59:44

And the feet. Believe me, the feeling is mutual.

Eric: 59:47

Um, you know, yeah dude, it's so fucking good to see you, it's, and cannot cannot express how over the moon happy I am for you. You're killing it. You're doing it. You're doing the damn thing.

Matt: 1:00:00

You're doing the damn thing Step by step. Step by step. So, folks, if this was your first exposure to Mr Jeffers, by all means give him a Google, find his stuff. Like I said, there's lots of places to see him these days and we're so happy for everything that's. That's going on for you, man. Um, it's so deserved and I personally cannot wait. It is bucket list item that we share the stage. Again. I will say that got to, got to and on that, shea butter called shea butter.

Matt: 1:00:36

Uh it, it will be a three-man show. Um, coach, I'm not sure how we're gonna work you into. Um, we'll figure something out. There'll be a weird interlude.

Eric: 1:00:48

A day, a dream ballet yes, oh, put me in, coach, I'll dream, coach, I'll dream the shit out of this ballet.

Matt: 1:00:56

Well, so in the interest of getting you to your well-deserved food, that'll about do it for this episode of you Didn't Ask For this. By all means, follow us on the Instagram, the Twitter, the Facebook, the TikTok on at. You Didn't Ask, pod. That's the letter. You Didn't Ask, ask pod. Submit your questions there, or you didn't ask for this at gmailcom. That's all spelled out. We'll do the abbreviated version and for all of us here at you didn't ask for this, my name is match, hey my name's Eric poach and my name's Matthew Jeffers.

Matt: 1:01:30

There you go.

Matthew August Jeffers: 1:01:31

It sure is.

Matt: 1:01:33

And no, it sure is and we didn't talk about it beforehand. I didn't set you up.

Matthew August Jeffers: 1:01:38

Nailed it.

Matt: 1:01:39

No notes no notes Listen, you didn't ask.

Eric: 1:01:43

And this is just for the three of us and whoever else might have been in the show. Never forget kids. An elephant is an investment.

Matt: 1:01:52

An elephant is an investment. Yeah, that may very well just be for us, but you know what It'll set up a sentimental playoff, sentimental playoff. Yeah, give it a nice little sentimental. There you go, bye.